March Madness in my Head (6)

Week of Mar 4, 2012.
Day: Sunday
Feeling: Scruffy, need to shave & crazy
Currently listening to:
"Find Your Love" Drake, Thank me Later 
"Forever" Papa Roach, The Paramour Sessions
Goals this week: 

• Go to every  class. 
• Go to bed before midnight 
• Take time to secure a research position or internship
• Take out the trash. Forreal.

Other comments: I need to get out of Jury duty somehow...

Class & Headaches
Well I've finally made it through my first round of exams this semester only to get to the second round of exams this week. Yaay. Sometimes I think I'm doing a good job staying on top of my classes but when it comes to exam time it swings either way. I crammed fairly intensely for an Instrumental Analysis lecture exam last weekend and I thought I failed it after I took it. Either there was a massive curve on it or I actually managed to guess the right answers because I got a B. That's good I suppose. On the other hand, I have an environmental chemistry class where I am getting 100% on most of the homework assignments and have gone to every lecture and read the book a little bit for the exam but after that exam on Wednesday, I went and had a beer with a classmate to wash away the headache. I had heard that the class was fairly difficult, shoulda listened.. oh well. One good thing happened this week, I managed to lose my watch for a good two weeks when it was just next to my night stand in my bedroom.Yay.

At this point in my life I seem to be inexplicably crunching away from communicating with my friends and family. I do have the time to talk to all of them I suppose, but it seems that I don't really want to take the effort to even respond to text messages let alone flat out calling them. A friend of mine said that I seem to be "stressed out" lately, which is probably why I'm having trouble sleeping a regular sleep schedule. I do need to write three IA lab reports and get working on my final project in that class, bleh...

The game
I told a female classmate this week who called me a "friend" that I've been doing that friend zone shit with women way too often and that I'd rather just stay acquaintances and have a better chance of getting laid. Sure we study together from time to time; and I naturally have a charismatic outgoing demeanor, but that doesn't automatically mean we're friends. I guess they just want me to be their friends because I can connect with them just as much as their friends. I can connect with most people on a variety of topics because I'm an elitest social group floater. Perhaps I need to make it abundantly clear to them that I'm not looking to make more short term friends, especially ones who I'd rather get into bed with than meet for coffee or go rock climbing with.

I am a nice person, most of the time. Sometimes friendships with the opposite sex do have their benefits, sometimes they have their downsides. Honestly though, I don't want to have a girl as a wingman whenever I go out b/c it's often assumed that we're a couple. It feels like I'm being insulted if a woman wants to me to be her friend because I appear to be a safe "nice guy". I'd rather them hate me for being a complete asshole who wants to occasionally get laid. Honestly, how the fuck can you know me if the only thing we do together is study? Fuck you and your assumptions.

That's the culture we live in today, sure you can break up with someone, because they're "not good for you," or "doesn't have a future with you" but as long as the sex is good, there's really no point to stop seeing them for the occasional screw. Yeah, more than one of my female acquaintances life stories.
Am I the only one who thinks that's a little fucked in the head? March madness in my head.

C'est la vie (5)

Week of Feb. 19, 2012.
Day: Sunday
Feeling:Vegging, I don't know if that's a feeling to be honest.
Currently listening to: "It's Beginning to get to me," Snow Patrol, Eyes open  
Goals this week:

• Go to every class. 
• Write a better Flame Atomic Absorbance Spectrophotometer lab writeup. 
• Write an equally promising Fourier Transform Infrared Spectrometer lab writeup. 
• Lower my BMI to <23, lower body fat to 13%

Other comments: Waiting for my federal tax return. Applying to summer internships.

Academics & Fitness
Well I started classes this semester at UC Denver and this semester has been alright thus far. I have not been sleeping very well lately for some strange reason. I think it's because I've been staying up late doing homework and studying, and staying up late during the weekends drinking or doing homework. Well no shit, I think to myself, but besides that fact;
I've taken a new interest in Chemistry. I am currently enrolled in an Environmental Chemistry course and it makes me see myself have a career in a science field associated with the environment or sustainability. Now I am thinking of grad school, and consequently, I wish I didn't dick around so much in Boulder, ha ha.

I'm taking 18 credits at the moment: Gen cell bio, general genetics, principles of ecology, environmental chem, instrumental analysis & lab. I made the mistake trying to cram all of these courses into Tuesdays and Thursdays and found that they wouldn't all fit. 1 class on M&W, 4 classes, 2 recitations & a lab on Tuesdays (8am-8:50pm fuck...).

I've finally taken the steps to research the classes and grades I need to get to add a minor in Biology & Environmental science to my 'B.S. in Chemistry with a Biochemistry emphasis'.
All of my instructors this semester are fine..-ish.. Some are boring, one's kinda a bitch, one's helpful but gives me shit for no reason, one is .... yeahh, I can't tell if he just doesn't care to teach at all or he just finds it as something he just has to do to get back to his research... oh well.
Biology classes are clearly easier than Chemistry courses. Every bio class I have consists of multiple choice scan-tron tests and possibly a short answer section, whereas every chemistry class I have consists of extremely difficult hand written exams with equations and calculators haha..

I found out that I get to retake calculus based physics 1 & 2 and their associated labs because I was attempting to get a B.A. in Chemistry at CU Boulder and the B.S. program here requires calculus based physics as opposed to algebra based physics. Well technically, that's not true. I can graduate with a B.S. in Chemistry with algebra based physics, but I will not receive my ACS certification. I'll be damned before I let a entry level physics course prevent me from getting that after taking so many Chemistry courses.

Honestly, it does feel strange going back to school to finish a degree. I guess it's because I'm 23 now and there are some students who are 18, 19 who are taking the same classes as me. But I have found quite a few students who are my age and doing the same thing I'm doing, so it doesn't feel so strange. Actually I have found that the easiest way to break the ice with someone is to ask them if they feel old taking these classes, so it works out.

I feel a little light headed at the moment as I just went for a four mile jog in my first attempts to ween off this extra ten pounds of fat that I have accumulated with the glorious pizza, Chinese food, beer and burgers diet that I've been rocking for the last month or so.
Let's see, I'm 5'6'', weighed 148, BMI 23.9 with a 14.9% body fat this morning according to my scale..

Let's see where I end up in a week or so..

Whats new... hmm
I've recently replaced saying "God Damnit" and "Jesus Fucking Christ" and "That's gay" with less offensive comments because I found that it's not as politically correct now then it was when I was an adolescent. Plus as I venture out into the world and meet more people, it seems to piss off more people then I care to deal with. Oh well, C'est la vie.

I quit my job night stocking at a near by King Soopers because I just saw myself unable to find balance in my life with the whole not sleeping bit going to work at 10pm - 6:30am and being downtown at 8am for classes until 4pm.. then sleeping 4 hours and being back at work... Plus that job is fairly physically demanding. My boss couldn't work around my schedule and he was kinda an ass, go figure, most of us were ass-holes on night crew. I suppose I should have turned in a 2 weeks notice because they might rehire me, but as this was my second tour of duty with the King, I'm just done working there.

Recently I have been looking for that "thing" in my life.. The "driving force", "impetus", goal, whatever. I watched a movie Men of Honor and a few videos about David Blaine where he does stupidly difficult endurance events and have finally come to the realization that if I actually try to complete my degree or train to run a marathon and I put my entire heart into it, there's nothing I can't do.

If you want something in life bad enough, there's usually sacrifice. You have to just man up and suck up the hard times, negative thinking, set backs; and someday, if you're committed to a goal, stop doing the shit that impedes you from reaching that goal, and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, it'll eventually happen. Oh and drink tons of caffeine and sleep whenever life lets you.