March Madness in my Head (6)

Week of Mar 4, 2012.
Day: Sunday
Feeling: Scruffy, need to shave & crazy
Currently listening to:
"Find Your Love" Drake, Thank me Later 
"Forever" Papa Roach, The Paramour Sessions
Goals this week: 

• Go to every  class. 
• Go to bed before midnight 
• Take time to secure a research position or internship
• Take out the trash. Forreal.

Other comments: I need to get out of Jury duty somehow...

Class & Headaches
Well I've finally made it through my first round of exams this semester only to get to the second round of exams this week. Yaay. Sometimes I think I'm doing a good job staying on top of my classes but when it comes to exam time it swings either way. I crammed fairly intensely for an Instrumental Analysis lecture exam last weekend and I thought I failed it after I took it. Either there was a massive curve on it or I actually managed to guess the right answers because I got a B. That's good I suppose. On the other hand, I have an environmental chemistry class where I am getting 100% on most of the homework assignments and have gone to every lecture and read the book a little bit for the exam but after that exam on Wednesday, I went and had a beer with a classmate to wash away the headache. I had heard that the class was fairly difficult, shoulda listened.. oh well. One good thing happened this week, I managed to lose my watch for a good two weeks when it was just next to my night stand in my bedroom.Yay.

At this point in my life I seem to be inexplicably crunching away from communicating with my friends and family. I do have the time to talk to all of them I suppose, but it seems that I don't really want to take the effort to even respond to text messages let alone flat out calling them. A friend of mine said that I seem to be "stressed out" lately, which is probably why I'm having trouble sleeping a regular sleep schedule. I do need to write three IA lab reports and get working on my final project in that class, bleh...

The game
I told a female classmate this week who called me a "friend" that I've been doing that friend zone shit with women way too often and that I'd rather just stay acquaintances and have a better chance of getting laid. Sure we study together from time to time; and I naturally have a charismatic outgoing demeanor, but that doesn't automatically mean we're friends. I guess they just want me to be their friends because I can connect with them just as much as their friends. I can connect with most people on a variety of topics because I'm an elitest social group floater. Perhaps I need to make it abundantly clear to them that I'm not looking to make more short term friends, especially ones who I'd rather get into bed with than meet for coffee or go rock climbing with.

I am a nice person, most of the time. Sometimes friendships with the opposite sex do have their benefits, sometimes they have their downsides. Honestly though, I don't want to have a girl as a wingman whenever I go out b/c it's often assumed that we're a couple. It feels like I'm being insulted if a woman wants to me to be her friend because I appear to be a safe "nice guy". I'd rather them hate me for being a complete asshole who wants to occasionally get laid. Honestly, how the fuck can you know me if the only thing we do together is study? Fuck you and your assumptions.

That's the culture we live in today, sure you can break up with someone, because they're "not good for you," or "doesn't have a future with you" but as long as the sex is good, there's really no point to stop seeing them for the occasional screw. Yeah, more than one of my female acquaintances life stories.
Am I the only one who thinks that's a little fucked in the head? March madness in my head.

C'est la vie (5)

Week of Feb. 19, 2012.
Day: Sunday
Feeling:Vegging, I don't know if that's a feeling to be honest.
Currently listening to: "It's Beginning to get to me," Snow Patrol, Eyes open  
Goals this week:

• Go to every class. 
• Write a better Flame Atomic Absorbance Spectrophotometer lab writeup. 
• Write an equally promising Fourier Transform Infrared Spectrometer lab writeup. 
• Lower my BMI to <23, lower body fat to 13%

Other comments: Waiting for my federal tax return. Applying to summer internships.

Academics & Fitness
Well I started classes this semester at UC Denver and this semester has been alright thus far. I have not been sleeping very well lately for some strange reason. I think it's because I've been staying up late doing homework and studying, and staying up late during the weekends drinking or doing homework. Well no shit, I think to myself, but besides that fact;
I've taken a new interest in Chemistry. I am currently enrolled in an Environmental Chemistry course and it makes me see myself have a career in a science field associated with the environment or sustainability. Now I am thinking of grad school, and consequently, I wish I didn't dick around so much in Boulder, ha ha.

I'm taking 18 credits at the moment: Gen cell bio, general genetics, principles of ecology, environmental chem, instrumental analysis & lab. I made the mistake trying to cram all of these courses into Tuesdays and Thursdays and found that they wouldn't all fit. 1 class on M&W, 4 classes, 2 recitations & a lab on Tuesdays (8am-8:50pm fuck...).

I've finally taken the steps to research the classes and grades I need to get to add a minor in Biology & Environmental science to my 'B.S. in Chemistry with a Biochemistry emphasis'.
All of my instructors this semester are fine..-ish.. Some are boring, one's kinda a bitch, one's helpful but gives me shit for no reason, one is .... yeahh, I can't tell if he just doesn't care to teach at all or he just finds it as something he just has to do to get back to his research... oh well.
Biology classes are clearly easier than Chemistry courses. Every bio class I have consists of multiple choice scan-tron tests and possibly a short answer section, whereas every chemistry class I have consists of extremely difficult hand written exams with equations and calculators haha..

I found out that I get to retake calculus based physics 1 & 2 and their associated labs because I was attempting to get a B.A. in Chemistry at CU Boulder and the B.S. program here requires calculus based physics as opposed to algebra based physics. Well technically, that's not true. I can graduate with a B.S. in Chemistry with algebra based physics, but I will not receive my ACS certification. I'll be damned before I let a entry level physics course prevent me from getting that after taking so many Chemistry courses.

Honestly, it does feel strange going back to school to finish a degree. I guess it's because I'm 23 now and there are some students who are 18, 19 who are taking the same classes as me. But I have found quite a few students who are my age and doing the same thing I'm doing, so it doesn't feel so strange. Actually I have found that the easiest way to break the ice with someone is to ask them if they feel old taking these classes, so it works out.

I feel a little light headed at the moment as I just went for a four mile jog in my first attempts to ween off this extra ten pounds of fat that I have accumulated with the glorious pizza, Chinese food, beer and burgers diet that I've been rocking for the last month or so.
Let's see, I'm 5'6'', weighed 148, BMI 23.9 with a 14.9% body fat this morning according to my scale..

Let's see where I end up in a week or so..

Whats new... hmm
I've recently replaced saying "God Damnit" and "Jesus Fucking Christ" and "That's gay" with less offensive comments because I found that it's not as politically correct now then it was when I was an adolescent. Plus as I venture out into the world and meet more people, it seems to piss off more people then I care to deal with. Oh well, C'est la vie.

I quit my job night stocking at a near by King Soopers because I just saw myself unable to find balance in my life with the whole not sleeping bit going to work at 10pm - 6:30am and being downtown at 8am for classes until 4pm.. then sleeping 4 hours and being back at work... Plus that job is fairly physically demanding. My boss couldn't work around my schedule and he was kinda an ass, go figure, most of us were ass-holes on night crew. I suppose I should have turned in a 2 weeks notice because they might rehire me, but as this was my second tour of duty with the King, I'm just done working there.

Recently I have been looking for that "thing" in my life.. The "driving force", "impetus", goal, whatever. I watched a movie Men of Honor and a few videos about David Blaine where he does stupidly difficult endurance events and have finally come to the realization that if I actually try to complete my degree or train to run a marathon and I put my entire heart into it, there's nothing I can't do.

If you want something in life bad enough, there's usually sacrifice. You have to just man up and suck up the hard times, negative thinking, set backs; and someday, if you're committed to a goal, stop doing the shit that impedes you from reaching that goal, and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, it'll eventually happen. Oh and drink tons of caffeine and sleep whenever life lets you.

Computer problems, Holy **** (4)

So I have a custom built computer and my problem began as a hardware issue with the desktop tower turning on and all of the fans running, but there was no input to my monitor. Quite a frustrating problem to approach.

I read posts online and disassembled and reassembled my tower multiple times to no avail. This is everything I did to fix the problem:
-Reseated my graphics card multiple times in different PCI express slots
-Reseated my motherboard multiple times
-Reset the CMOS
-Unplugged the monitor DVI cable & reinserted it multiple times
-Reseated the RAM multiple times
-Unplugged the harddrives and attempted to boot up

Still nothing.Grrr, what a headache.
But later did I realize that was not even the beginning of my problems.

Upon deliberation with a few friends of mine and the internet, I was given three possibilities on why this was happening:
a. My graphics card died
b. The cable between my tower and the monitor was broken
OR
c. There was a hardware issue with the monitor itself.

I went to the nearest computer parts store (Microcenter) and purchased a new graphics card
Nothing, no fix, no change in condition.
Went back to Microcenter and purchased a new IPS 22" LG Monitor and HDMI cable.
Nope, tried a new DVI cable that came with the monitor again.
Switched out the video card with my old one with the new monitor, nope.

Options a, b, and c had failed to produce a solution to my problem. This seemed to be a case like on HOUSE M.D. where nothing solves the problem continuously.

So down the rabbit hole I follow. I purchased a new 800W power supply unit to replace the 750W psu that I had just in case when I was purchasing the monitor and cable. Obviously this didn't fix the issue, but it would have been nice had it done so.

So again, back to microcenter to purchase a new motherboard that can hold my i7-930 with the LGA 1366 socket. Little did I realize that this new ASUS motherboard (my previous one was also ASUS) was incompatible with my 4gb of Kingston RAM: KHX1600C9D3K2. But i'll get to that in a sec.

No fix. So I am just out of possible problems it could be at this point, I have replaced every component of my tower (including the tower itself for aesthetic purposes, and because my giant heatsink wouldn't allow my old tower to close) except for the CPU, RAM and Harddrive.

So I have a friend look at it and he doesn't seem to find anything wrong with my assembly and also comes to the conclusion my CPU has died somehow.
WHY ME? ARGHHHHHHHHHHH.
So I call up microcenter and they say they have sold out of all of the i7-960's and every other LGA1366 socket cpu's they have, even the 8 core $1000 one. So I order a new CPU off newegg.com (i7-960), wait a week, and proceed to mount it into my tower. Nothing, no fix again.

Upon checking the new ASUS motherboard's manual, I find out that the RAM is incompatible with the motherboard, which I still don't fully understand why. But I venture back to microcenter another time to talk to a computer salesman and he tells me the motherboard I purchased (ASUS Sabertooth X58 motherboard) requires triple channel (or something like that) RAM and my 4gb wouldn't work. FUCK

My Kingston RAM: KHX1600C9D3K2 (4GB) was replaced with Kingston RAM: KHX1600C9D3K3 (6GB). So I've officially replaced every component in my computer wth the exception of the harddrive.

WHY IS THIS PROBLEM STILL HAPPENING??!?!?!
So I gave up.
I took my tower to microcenter and dropped it off there for a $70 diagnosis.
The technician said that there was a cord that wasn't connected to my graphics card and the motherboard. BUT my 32gb solid state ONYX harddrive had died. This wasn't a big issue but I purchased a new 60gb harddrive and reinstalled the Windows 7 OS on it.

Now I have 2 computers; or rather 1 full computer and the parts to another. The life lesson I learned was to just take a computer and get it inspected by a technician for $70. I was super stubborn and spent well over $1000 on pretty much making a new computer, including making 6 trips to Microcenter.

Specs on old computer:
Intel i7-930 cpu
ASUS P6T Motherboard
Coolermaster V8 heatsink
ATI 5850HD graphics card
4GB Kingston RAM: KHX1600C9D3K2
32GB OCZ ONYX ssd
1.0TB Seagate Barracuda Harddrive 7200rpm
19" Sony monitor (1280x1080 max resolution)
750W Thermaltake Power supply unit
Generic small tower

Specs on new computer:
Intel i7-960 cpu
ASUS Sabertooth X58 Motherboard
Coolermaster V8 heatsink
ATI 5850HD graphics card
6GB Kingston RAM: KHX1600C9D3K3
60GB OCZ Agility 3 ssd
1.0TB Seagate Barracuda Harddrive 7200rpm
22" LG IPS Monitor (1920x1080 max resolution)
800W Corsair power supply unit
Corsair Graphite CC600TWM-WHT Mid tower


I decided to use my ATI 5850HD because the replacement graphics card I purchased was the ATI 5700 and it was a slightly lower quality. (AMD or ATI whatever it is now)

5850HD: 1GB GDDR5 RAM w/ 256bit interface
5700HD: 1GB GDDR5 RAM w/ 128bit interface

New computer rating on the Windows Experience Index (Scale 1.0-7.9): 7.5

Processor: Calculations per second: 7.5
Memory (RAM): Memory operations per second: 7.5
Graphics: Desktop performance for Windows Aero: 7.6
Gaming graphics: 3D business and gaming graphics performance: 7.6
Primary hard disk: Disk transfer rate: 7.9

Fiscal Irresponsibility (3)

In the course of my life up to this point I would say I have lived an above average lifestyle compared to many other people. However, growing up under the umbrella of funds and above average taste seems to have shaped me into a being of waste.

I've been saving a little of each of my paychecks since the summer began in preparation to pay for my school books for this semester. But in my lack of caring to shop around, especially on the Internet, i just pay for my books at the bookstore like I have always done.

About 3 weeks ago I was having a conversation with a coworker of mine about the way I approach situations in life. I told her something along the lines that I view the philosophy of every choice as either a smart decision or a stupid one.
The strange thing is I know purchasing books from the bookstore is a choice of convenience and paying probably twice the price of a book that I can probably find on Amazon for half price. This is a stupid decision.
I am so smart, yet so stupid sometimes. Oh well, live and learn.

Deux (2)

Today's the first day of classes in my... 123..4.5? 5th year in college? Wait.. 5 semesters + 2 semesters = 7. This is my 8th semester of most likely 11 semesters trying to get my undergraduate degree. I gradauate from high school in June 2006, I think i'll graduate sometime in 2013 with a bachelor of science in Chemistry. The choice of a double major or minor or graduate school has not been set into stone yet as I have not put in the minimal amount of effort to make a decision on such a matter.

There is a bunch of reasons why I am on the 5 1/2 year college plan and not the 4 year plan. For those of you who have IQs on the right side of the standard deviation curve, you might be asking yourself, 'but wait? 2013-2006=7 years?' I'll answer that, so you can chill out compadre.

 The first reason stems from my childhood and schooling. The lowest grade I had ever achieved in K-12 had been a C-. Always passing, even when it came to learning new material without paying attention to a teacher. When I was in my second semester at CU boulder, I had to drop calculus II because I was not going to pass it at all because I had not paid close enough attention in Calculus I. The derivative was a mystery and this integral thing was just impossible to learn with a bad foundation to begin with. "Well fuck," I thought.

Having never seen Batman Begins with Christian Bale, I had never learned to pick myself up and try harder when I fail. Yes I can be labelled as Asian American; more specifically 4th/5th generation Japanese American. But I'm still American. The association between Asians and posessing superior mathmatics skill is not always true. I'll touch back on that in a different post someday. Dropping doesn't equal failure, but when it's a prereq in college to continue at a smooth pace to graduate in 4 years, it's kinda a big thing. So retake Calculus I i did first semester sophmore year. I passed Calc I & II, but then got my first true F in Calculus III. F really does mean Fail. So there is officially an F on a transcript of mine. Distraught with my progress at the time I didn't even care enough to get higher than a D in a history of world art class the same semester.

'I love Chemistry, but God Damnit I Hate Calculus. So fuck it!' and I took 3 semesters off school to work as an emergency medical technician in Centennial. I'm sure the rampant drinking I did freshman through first semester Junior year and spending hours on end playing a MMORPG called Final Fantasy XI didn't help my concentration or grades. I even slept through my Physics II final. That was a big time academic momentum killer there. Luckily I was able to get the appriopriate signatures to take the final the following semester. Damn electromagnetism right-hand-rule was the epitome of just random bull shit that I didn't care about. In hindsight, I have changed my views on everything I learned in that course and personall I love understanding how electricity works.

I don't think I had the maturity to attain an undergraduate degree when I was 18-20 years old, but now that I am almost 23, it's... well... different. Today will be tomorrow's yesterday, but I am astonished how different I was as a person just a couple years of yesterdays ago. I guess it's less video-gaming, less drinking, less tortinos and ramen haha. Gonna try and take a nap now.

Numero Uno!

Well, since this is my first post, I guess I should post something about myself.

I'm not a good writer. Eeyup, it's true.
Continuing from there, I am a self-proclaimed nerd. But i hate labels. I don't enjoy labels because there is much more to an individual than what anyone stereotypically perceives. I guess this blog will just be what's going on in my life or what's on my mind at the time.

For instance, it's 11:55am at this moment and I can't seem to fall asleep and get some relaxation before class at 5pm. The fragmented memories of events and people racing in my mind made it impossible to fall asleep. It might also be the fact that it's 80 degrees inside my room right now. But enough on that.

Questions, questions...  I have no clear answer why I am giving birth to this blog or where it is going. This may be my journal, or perhaps it will be a way to dump my ideas out of my head so I can actually sleep. This may even be the only auto biographical record of my brief existence and this may be a way for my great great great --- grandchildren to have known who I was. Maybe i'll be a famous person one day and this will be the first chapter of a best seller, haha.. but probably not.

Any-who; this blog is not for the faint of heart, high in morals or soft in skull. (something to that effect) I plan to use vulgar language when appropriate or reminiscing about something really really retarded. If I offend the PC viewers, or Sarah Palin lovers, I apologize... kinda.. .. .. not really.